Some Hot Advice to Baby Boomers: Staying young forever is definitely not cool

Thanks to the advent of electronic media (invented in the last century), and of language, (a couple of thousand years ago), the 21st Century will never be as vague a period as say the third Egyptian dynasty or the Byzantine Empire. But it's fairly certain that ten or twenty years from now it'll be the Baby Boomers who will be called on to recount their stories of the 60s Civil Rights movement, the Kennedys, Motown music, stick-shift cars and sex before AIDs, the same way those Depression era kids still talk about World War II like it just happened.

In another decade or two it'll be those credit-chomping, hedonistic Baby Boomers who are the elders of our global village; not the penny-pinching old folk born before 1930 whose motto was get-by, make-do and save ten-cents out of every dollar for a rainy day. Although anyone born after 1960 may not realize it, it was that generation who gave Baby Boomers of all races their jump-start on fair employment, voting rights, equal education and a plethora of other privileges we and all other subsequent generations enjoy.

Now that the 1900s have officially passed into the status of the good old days, I am frankly worried that Baby Boomers may not know how to handle the awesome responsibility of upholding history. I know entirely too many Boomers who refuse to get old, completely unmindful that the 60s took place nearly fifty years ago. The only way they are going to relate history to younger generations is from the prespective of an outside observer. Or as a colorful embellishment of their own lives and careers.

I talk to young people today who have never heard any of the time-honored expressions of my childhood, those quaint old sayings that were thick as molasses with meaning. I recently discovered that, although most Boomers are too busy to share them, those old barnyard philosophies brought up from the south by our grand- and great-grandmothers still sticks with youth today. Advice like "Birds of a feather, flock together," "A dog who brings a bone will carry it," or, "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free" is as fresh to the hip hop nation today as a new pair of designer athletic shoes.

What Baby Boomers don't seem to appreciate is that getting old is 21st Century chic. Trying to stay young forever is what is definitely very uncool. Unfortunately I see too many signs of Boomers trying to stop the clock to feel optimistic about the immediate future of middle class philanthropy. Take one of my girlfriends, for instance. She has had more cosmetic surgery than most folks have had vacations and she cares more about her fingernails than she does the working poor. She cares for no one other than herself.

And I see aging Boomers every day dressing like they just stepped out of a funky music video. Or a Sean John commercial.

I know a number of middle-aged men who, under their god, Viagra, worship at the altar of Tae Bo. And ladies who think that buying Oprah can really help them.

Finally, I just wanna know, just how many sets of gold golf clubs is it going to take for some guys to feel good about themselves? I just don't know what kind of a world it will be in the second quarter of the 21st century if 70-million Baby Boomers insist on hogging the spotlight instead of focusing it on the world's theater of concerns and problems.

Across the country, schools are screaming for retiring Baby Boomers to return to the classroom as mentors and volunteers. Throughout the city, community services cry out for modern equipment and experts to train their aging all-volunteer staff.

In practically every neighborhood there are incubator high-tech multi-media companies (mostly founded and run by Xers and the Hip Hop Nation) that are begging for capital infusions. Yet, for Baby Boomers, easily the most pampered generation in the history of the world, volunteerism and charitable donations, according to the most recent studies, are going down.

With "Forever Young" as their anthem, I am worried that too many Boomers are forfeiting their rightful place in history as the historians of the old days--the 1900s--and as the great philanthropists of the 21st Century. Most Boomers I know are totally preoccupied with turning back the clock on their youth, or they're investing fortunes into trying to erase the aging process entirely. [To hell with succeeding generations that hunger for their knowledge.]

Since this subject is rarely talked about in polite company, I realize that that the concept of hedonistic selfishness due to the natural aging process may not sit well with many graying Boomers. Many, I suspect, will be in such a state of denial, so out of touch with reality, that they won't recognize the unsettling truth -- that they are Baby Boom Bummers. That's right; they are bumming a ride through life on the past glory, the laurels and accomplishments of their entire generation. Boomer Bummers are living proof that some people never grow up. Holding grudges they worked up in 1984, Boomer Bummers have every plan to take their silly selfishness to the grave.

I am hoping that this little slap of reality will cause a buzz among Bummers; maybe even cause a backlash. I can't tell you how much I love to stand corrected. Meanwhile, however, until I'm disproved, I have identified at least 21 signs that someone you know may be a Baby Boom Bummer. Stay tuned!!!

130 Baby Boomer "Firsts" make Boomers special

It seems to me that part of the dilemma facing today’s aging Baby Boomers is that they feel stuck. See, not only are Boomers the last of an era—getting most of their values from the 20^th Century and their Depression Era parents—but they’re the first of an era too, relating more to Generation X, Echo Boomers and the Hip Hoppers as peers instead of protégés. Without any strong generational divides, Baby Boomers seem a bit confused.

See, Boomers have one foot in the Industrial Age (before their jobs got automated or outsourced) and the other foot in the Information Age (where everyone gets to work at home). Boomers are the new village elders, so let's get real; 60 is not the new 30! In order to enjoy authentic Village Elder status it seems to me that Boomers should embrace all the history they’ve changed and acknowledge all of their incredible firsts.

COMING INTO THE WORLD, Baby Boomers were the first generation to:

1. Wear disposable diapers..
2. Be raised by Dr. Spock.
3. Be saved by penicillin as infants.
4. Use two-ply toilet paper.
5. Enjoy a wide variety of baby food, toys, and entertainment venues.
6. Watch television.

GROWING UP, Baby Boomers were the first generation to:

7. Eat barbecue potato chips.
8. Eat a cake mom made from cake mix, instead of scratch.
9. Eat a McDonald’s® hamburger.
10. Carry school lunch in Tupperware®
11. Use hair spray from aerosol cans.
12. Watch Saturday morning cartoons.
13. Have a closet full of battery operated toys.
14. Shop for toys and games in a toy store.
15. See partners sleep in the same bed on television.
16. Hear profanity on television.
17. See televised sports (other than boxing, wrestling or Roller Derby).
18. Eat TV dinners.
19. Eat microwave meals.
20. Play with Barbie dolls.
21. See an in-flight movie.
22. Send a letter or package Air Mail.
23. Grow up with plastic.
24. Play with Frisbees ® , Hula Hoops, Play-Doh, Slinky, Mr. Potato Head and Legos.
25. Get six-month dental check ups.
26. Watch a moon landing on television (or anywhere else, for that matter).
27. Call 9-1-1 in any city and reach an emergency operator.
28. Grow up under the threat of atomic, chemical, biological and nuclear war.
29. Wear Velcro ® instead of having to tie everything.

IN THEIR TEEN YEARS, Baby Boomers were the first generation to:

30. Have co-ed college dormitories.
31. Hold college panty raids.
32. Listen to FM on a car radio.
33. Listen to stereo sound.
34. Listen to 45 rpm records.
35. Rock ‘n’ Roll.
36. Use a push button telephone.
37. Practice birth control by pill.
38. Wear different sneakers for different sports.
39. Use tampons.
40. Wear pantyhose.
41. Wear a bikini bathing suit.
42. Wear rubber gloves for washing dishes.
43. Wear polyester clothes.
44. Wear designer blue jeans.
45. Have designated disabled parking and public telephones.
46. Wear contact lenses.
47. Enter the Information Age.
48. Shop in a mall.
49. Own a bicycle that shifts gears.
50. Drive on freeways anywhere in the country.
51. Have the Surgeon General’s warning printed on cigarette labels.
52. Recognize women’s rights, gay rights, civil rights and animal rights.
53. Denounce a war.
54. Call air pollution, “smog.”

AS YOUNG ADULTS, Baby Boomers were the first generation to:

55. Use non-dairy creamer.
56. Own a color television.
57. Have a credit card before getting a job.
58. Flip the dial on the television set by remote control.
59. Get an automatic can opener for a wedding present.
60. Bank electronically.
61. Take classes in computer programming or computer graphics.
62. Bank after 3 p.m. Monday through Thursday.
63. Bank on Saturday.
64. Use a cheap portable calculator.
65. Watch/play sports on AstroTurf.
66. Drink diet soda.
67. Carry a hand-held calculator.
68. Eat fruit-flavored yogurt.
69. Watch calories.
70. Consume sugar substitutes.
71. Count cholesterol.
72. Wear acrylic fingernails.
73. Use self-tans.
74. Get breast implants.
75. Get a vasectomy.
76. Get artificially inseminated,
77. Or get a legal abortion.
78. Use electrolysis for cosmetic reasons.
79. Consider genetics in having kids.
80. Eat multi-grain cereals.
81. Stock up on vitamins and nutritional supplements.
82. Call marijuana an “herb.”
83. Smoke LSD.
84. Take Valium.
85. Call the sexual assault of an intimate, “date rape.”
86. Shop for clothes and beauty products on television.
87. Wear designer sunglasses.
88. Care about animal rights.
89. More or less sanction interracial marriage.
90. Get a no-fault divorce.
91. Bring charges against a spouse or partner for domestic violence.
92. Recycle for fun.
93. Willingly (more or less) use condoms.
94. Die from AIDs.

At WORK, Baby Boomers were the first generation to:

95. Make a photocopy.
96. Use a Post It ® note.
97. Bring charges against someone for sexual harassment.
98. Question Authority.
99. Work in an office cubicle.
100. Work in an air-conditioned office.
101. Become female newscasters, police officers, fire fighters, paramedics and astronauts.
102. Use a computer to input work.
103. Use computers at home and work.
104. Make a multi-media presentation at work.

In LIFESTYLES, Baby Boomers were the first generation to:

105. Subscribe to cable TV.
106. Use a portable telephone.
107. Watch videocassette movies.
108. Travel by airplane for pleasure.
109. Wear orthodontics for cosmetic purposes.
110. Change eye color for cosmetic purposes.
111. Consciously buy American-made products.
112. Diet as an obsession.
113. Have two paychecks in the family.
114. Use the word “trendy.”
115. Carry credit cards.
116. Own a home computer.
117. Make Ecology a movement.
118. Buy a condominium.
119. Read a book on tape.
120. Revolt against taxes.

APPROACHING RETIREMENT, Baby Boomers are the first generation to:

121. Spend more than they earn.
122. Call slums, ghettos and barrios, the “inner city.”
123. Care for two generations—an elder and a child or grandchild.
124. Own a vacation home.
125. Fear for the future of the Social Security system.
126. Fear terrorism.
127. Fear “illegal aliens.”
128. Fear getting old.
129. Fear death.
130. Work overtime to bring about the End Times through endless wars.

An Open Letter to the Mother of a Teenage Killer

Note: Since 2001, with the murder of my son's teenage friend, Efren Diaz, when this letter was first published, there have been hundreds of young Los Angeles residents needlessly killed by gun violence. This re-print, then, is in memory of those young people whose lives were cut short just this month—July 2008*: Jasmine Sanders, 8; Jesus Guevera, 24; Alcus Mallory, 15; Adrian Garcia-Diaz, 16; Christopher Sloan, 22; Kimberly Bonds, 19; Cynthia Vargas, 20; Diego Cruz, 14; Joshua Ford, 25; Roberto Lopez, 23 and Christopher Payne, 24.
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Dear Mom,

I confess that we have a lot in common. We are both mothers of boys who are just beginning to shave. We both live in Highland Park. We are both minorities. And we both, I think, love our sons. The difference between us is the life your son took at a supervised Highland Park house party. Last night my son lost one of his best friends--a wonderful young man filled with hope and promise--and your son killed him.

Today, dear Mom, Efren's mother and father are grieving, as I am. Today, dear Mom, you should be too; for your son is a murderer and he can know no peace until he meets the same fate, by the Law or by the Law of God.

Cradling an inconsolable mother in my arms, I wondered if you were cradling your son in your arms. Are you condoning his crime or do you even know about the horrible act of violence he committed last night? Maybe he slept late and you made him a Sunday breakfast. I just want you to know that Efren's mother cannot eat or sleep. She hasn't changed her clothes or stopped crying since she learned that her son, her boy, named after his devoted father, is dead.

Efren was only 18, dear Mom. How old is your son and how old do you think he will live to become? I know that Efren's mom and dad expected him to outlive them. Will your son outlive you? And if he does, will it be behind bars?

Dear Mom, I know that I can't do anything to bring my beloved young friend, Efren, back to us. I know that there is nothing I can say or do to console his parents. There isn't anything I can say to console you either. But maybe, by writing to you I'll inspire other moms like you to talk to their children, to check their kid's behavior and friends, to search for weapons, and to deal with any family crises that appear to be getting out of control.

I may never know your name or the name of your son, for Efren's death is just one more Highland Park homicide. Nonetheless, God bless you, dear Mom. I won't believe, until it's proven otherwise, that you are not a good mother who wanted the best for her child.

What went wrong, what turned your little boy into a ruthless killer, maybe you don't even know. That's why I'm holding you in prayer—you and the parents of a young man who brought only light and love to everyone he knew. I wish you and your son could have known Efren; I am certain that you would have loved him too.

Prayerfully yours,
Valerie Shaw,
Parent/Friend/Community Activist/Teacher

UPDATE: Efren Diaz' homicide was never solved. His parents and all who love him are still grieving.

*July homicide statistics provided by Los Angeles Times.

When A Kid's In Crisis, So Are His Parents

When people find out that I authored 2 Late 4 Time Out: A Parent's Guide To Understanding The Juvenile Justice System, they ask me a bunch of questions I only wish I could answer.

The Internet is much smarter than me, any team of experts or policy makers. Here's just a brief sample of what people are asking in whispers and cries, gleaned from the confessions of hundreds of tearful caregivers and other adults concerned with troubled youth.

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Q: My 23-year-old son lost his job, his wife left him and now he’s back home with me, his retired 65-year-old mother. I’m too tired help him get himself back on track. Where can I send him or where can I get help before he falls back in with his old friends and ruins his life?

A: We couldn't think of where to start with your question, so we typed your entire question into Goggle and found an excellent 12-page Recovery Support Provider Directory that is certain to be helpful. It's at the California Access To Recovery Effort (CARE) program website, brought to you by the County of Los Angeles, but when we went to the L.A. County Info portal and used “L.A. Cares 4 Youth” as our search criteria and we couldn't’t find the list.


Q: I heard Monica’s Scream and I just want to tell you that I understand!!! I am a hard working single mother who lives in Inglewood and works in Orange County, commuting 3 hours a day. My 17-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter don’t just disrespect me, they violate all my house rules. My son has an anger problem—he hits the furniture, the dog and he even hit me once or twice—and my daughter may be seeing boys in the home. Where can I go for help?

A: We tried L.A. County Online, with the pretty basic search criteria “juvenile anger management programs” and then, just “anger management.” Besides a Courtney Love story and some other editorial stuff, we couldn't’t find anything here. But we did find a few good resources in the California Safe State Teen Dating Violence 11-page Directory. You and your daughter, on the other hand, could benefit from the resources and advice on the Girls Inc. website.

Q: I’m so embarrassed—too ashamed to tell my priest, my family or anyone—but I’m afraid that my 15-year-old son is either in a gang or ready to join one in our East Los Angeles neighborhood. Someone told me that Mothers Against Gang Violence could help but they can't help me now and that's when I need it. How can I find some intervention in our area? P.S. We live in public housing!

A: Besides the Sheriff’s and Probation Department's programs, we had to really hunt for this. Doing a search for “L.A. County Gang Intervention Programs East L.A.” produced no results. But we have a little better luck with the County's programs here, L. A. Gang Intervention Contracts, 10/06-07, East L.A. Service Area. [Psst!!! The list is Attachment “A” Now you can let your fingers do the walking.] Also, dear Mom, there's a very comprehensive list of resources at the Street Gangs Dot Com website.

Q: Tomorrow will be the fifth anniversary of the day my son was sentenced to 18 years in state prison. I am sick now and just want my son to have someone to write and who cares about him after I’m gone. Is that too much to ask?

A: Yep, Mom, we’re sorry, but it appears that your request is too much to ask. [Just kidding! Nothing is too much to ask of the Internet.]

First, you might consider talking to one of the caring folks at Friends Outside, for some guidance in this matter. Then try contacting International Directory of Prison Ministries; they are 3,800 members-strong. Or, maybe Christian Pen Pals can help.

Now that we're on a roll, here are two other very large non-denominational organizations you may want to contact:
Prison Fellowship Ministries and Operation Starting Line.

But since you're not the only one reading this, we'd like to encourage people interested in other prison outreach programs to contact the Center for Children of Incarcerated Parents.


Q: I don’t know how involved he is but I just found over a dozen “High Times” magazines, strange glass bowl pipes and some small bags of white powder in my 16-year-old son’s closet. With his dark clothes, sullen and withdrawn behavior, and drop in grades, I’m afraid that he’s using drugs. We live in a gated community, so obviously I can’t talk to any of our friends, his school counselors, or our rabbi. What would you suggest before something awful happens.

A: You’re kidding, right? Guess what, something bad’s already happened. But that’s besides the point. You do need help, don’t you? I’m talkin’ letz get biz-e!

If there’s any doubt about what the substance your son is hiding and you don’t want to tell anyone just yet OR your kid is in straight-up denial, try the six-panel drug test from one of a thousand companies like Drug Test Your Teen, founded by a Mid-western mother-daughters team. For a quantity of tests [we're talking Costco], there are loads of sites, like the Canadian Pharmacy, you can purchase from.

Maybe your teenager comes clean with you but will only talk to a peer. Turn him on to the TeenLine Online site where, for nearly 30-years, professionally trained teen counselors in California have been reaching out to help other youth.

Now that you know your kid has a problem, consider family counseling before the Court orders it. Of course you can look at the listings on Yahoo or some of the other popular Yellow Pages Internet sites. Don’t hold us to it, but there’s a pretty good list at the Psychology Today website.

Drug treatment, intervention, counseling? You may have the bucks for private therapy, but there’s nothing like the fellowship of a good ol’ 12 Step Program for the addict and, yes, Al-Anon/Alateen, for you and the family.


Q: Three years ago we moved to Santa Clarita where we could buy a house large enough for our three foster kids. The problem is that one of our foster children is having real problems adjusting to life in the family’s new home. Can you help?

A: You’re in luck! Fifth District Supervisor, Michael Antonovich, is the only L.A. County Supervisor we've found who publishes an online Community Service Guide, and we looked everywhere for other County Supervisors with the same community outreach. [Thanks, Mike, you're on it for your constituents.]

Also, especially designed for foster care youth, check out the Steps To Independent Living website.
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Why does the City and/or the County need the 2 Late 4 Time Out web portal? Because one road cannot serve the transportation needs of any thriving city. Nor can one website serve the needs of all who seek answers.

A Loud Open Letter To L.A. City Hall

[Note: Since no one in City Hall has written me back, I thought I'd share this sarcastic letter with the rest of the virtual world. If I'm gonna whistle in the dark, it might as well be as loud as I can.]
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Dear L.A. Elected Official & City Hall Personnel:

I read the L.A. Times article, "Miles to Go for L.A. Justice" juxtaposed against the Daily News piece, "L.A. proposed anti-gang tax taking its hits," which points out that right now there is no cap on this expenditure and it is exclusively a property tax.

If you'll take a couple of minutes to read the Daily News article you'll see a number of things Councilmember Janice Hahn doesn't mention in her news release. Excuse me, but gangs are every one's problem, not just property owners. Do you really think that in November, voters (who are fed up with pouring money into studies that chastise and programs that are microscopic or programs that fail altogether) will stand for this?

Please consider that nearly 1:5 homeowners in our city are in foreclosure or pre-foreclosure. [Let's throw some more straw on that fire, Mrs. O'Leary!]

Game over. It's time for change! A new strategy. A new way to think. This is the 21st Century, yau'll. We don't need another meeting to discuss where we're going to hold the next meeting. We are living in a very real paperless, virtual world. Councilmember Hahn is among other city officials who have not had the courtesy to respond to various e-mails sent to them regarding building the world's first all inclusive, user-friendly, Juvenile and Criminal Justice Internet portal.

Here's the prototype: 2 Late 4 Time Out, and an earlier version of 2 Late 4 Time Out, in the open-source format. [It's cumbersome, I'll certainly admit, but just click on the illustration of a kid in chains and enter as a "Guest."] Here, you'll find 10-years research and tons of very original content. While the City continues to search for effective ways to reduce crime, I would suggest to you that one way is right under their white linen napkins.

Following this e-mail I am forwarding you an e-mail sample of our one-way communication with Ms. Hahn and other City officials. Perhaps you can help me answer these questions:

Does the city re-e-e-e-ally want to reduce the violence in our communities; are they really trying to save our youth, or is the objective to have law enforcement, Department of Rec. and Parks and the Community Development Department dole out the money to programs they see fit or find worthy? What happens if you've got a program that is wonderful and worthy, like Mama Hill's Help, Inc., but it hasn't been anointed by the departments with the money? [Can you say bankruptcy, foreclosure and poverty, anyone???]

To Councilmember Hahn's invitation, "Come One, Come All!!!," I say to you, with all due respects, lip-service paid to this pandemic is not service. ["Good job, Brownie."] Certainly if we are going to pay for it, we, the people, deserve and need more. Can we do better? It is my sincere belief that "Yes We Can."
Yours in humility and service,
Valerie Shaw, M.PR
Youth & Gang Violence Consultant

All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Trees*

· It’s important to have roots.
· In today’s complex world, it pays to branch out.
· Don’t pine away over old flames.
· If you really believe in something, don’t be afraid to go out on a limb.
· Be flexible so you don’t break when a harsh wind blows.
· Sometimes you have to shed your old bark in order to grow.
· If you want to maintain accurate records, keep a log.
· To be politically correct, don’t wear firs.
· Grow where you’re planted.
· It’s perfectly okay to be a late bloomer.
· Avoid people who would like to cut you down.
· Get all spruced up when you have a hot date.
· If the party gets boring, just leaf.
· You can’t hide your true colors as you approach the autumn of your life.
· It’s more important to be honest than poplar.

*Unknown source; from the Internet

The New Multi-Billion-Dollar Green Economy Leaves Minorities in the Red, Creating Eco-Apartheid

Global climate change is a process—not an event—that our children will inherit and live with throughout the 21st Century. Spawning a new nomenclature, lifestyle, culture and economy, it is imperative that concepts like alternative energy, ecosystems and biological agri-science are included as integral parts of today’s progressive instructional curriculum.

But are they?

According to a highly critical article by Van Jones, President of Ella Baker Center for Human Rights, “Green is rapidly becoming the new gold. The LOHAS (lifestyles of health and sustainability) sector is growing like crazy: It was a $229 billion piece of the US economy in 2006. …But unfortunately, the LOHAS sector is probably the most racially segregated part of the US economy — in terms of its customers, owners and employees. Changing that could create better health, more jobs and increased wealth for communities that need all three.”*

Not only are blacks and browns not a part of the new green economy, they are the consummate uninformed consumers, or, as one environmentalist stated, they are “eco-parasites.”

According to the Department of Health Services, County of Los Angeles, “Food insecurity, defined as the limited or uncertain availability of nutritionally adequate and safe foods…” is experienced by “22% of lower income households (defined …as 300% of the federal poverty level…. This equates to over 400,000 households with food insecurity, of which 141,000 included someone who had experienced hunger in the past year.”

Jones writes, “The climate crisis is galloping from the margins of geek science to the epicenter of our politics, culture and economics. As the new environmentalists advance, only two questions remain: whom will they take with them? And whom will they leave behind?”

I couldn’t have said it better, but I just want to add that where there is a will there is definitely a way. Previous generations have produced innovators and inventors of color who contributed greatly to society in spite of all odds. Slave-born George Washington Carver taught Midwest farmers how to improve soil through crop rotation, invented over 300 products that could be developed from peanuts, and 115 uses for the sweet potato. Victor Ochoa, a Mexican revolutionary, invented the Ochoaplane, a precursor to the modern helicopter. In the late 1990s, Mexican-American Victor Celorio, patented the "Instabook Maker" a technology that now allows e-book publishers to print electronic books offline, cheaply and quickly.

With an emphasis on standardization in traditional public schools, this century’s inventors will most undoubtedly come from small, personalized high-performance schools that celebrate innovation and support individual achievement and from communities that support their efforts.

How can the new Green Economy be introduced to tomorrow’s leaders and innovators within the highest need communities, to those youngsters least apt to study or practice environmentalism at home or in school?

Here’s just one simple idea: With time restraints and set and structured classroom activities, vermicomposting (harvesting worm castings out of table scraps and other organic products) can increase awareness of vital environmental issues and provide a setting for the ideal after school, home or weekend project that can blossom into much, much more. Vermicomposting is, indeed, earth science studies from the ground up!

But that’s just one idea. Just one!!! This is a multi-billion-dollar industry whose time has come and there are a thousand ideas that can evolve the science that haven’t been discovered yet. The question remains, will our black and brown inner city youngsters be able to capitalize on the new green economy? With our help, the answer is “Yes They Can.”

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For more on Green Collar Jobs, follow the writings of Van Jones, civil- and eco-rights pioneer.

L.A.'s Witness Protection Lighthouse Is Just A Dinghy

Just in case you're put in the position of relying on the Los Angeles Witness-Victim's Assistance Program for help, you should know that besides sending you a brochure (if you ask for it) and a reimbursement for up to $2,000 for rent (per family), there isn't much help this city office can offer. A lighthouse it isn't! I'm thinking it's more like a big dinghy with a light on it.

But I'm going to be optimistic; light is good. It gives you a tiny ray of hope and you begin to search out every break in darkness you can find over the horizon.

We don't know where my son is. He's angry, hurt, confused and doesn't understand "reimbursement" or why Mommy can't resettle him in say, Miami, or San Francisco--someplace cosmopolitan, where jobs (and recreation) are plentiful. I was thinking more like Bakersfield, Omaha or Iowa City. After all this is a re-location, not a vacation.

It's time like these that you need a strong support system. Besides my great friends, prayer partners and neighbors, I feel blessed to be working with Mario Portillo, of Aztecs Rising--who is trying to talk sense into my son--and L.A.P.D. Gang Unit Det. Rick Ortiz, who is safeguarding our home. Today I know now that I did the right thing to report the crime, in spite of everything that's happened since.

While the City doesn't have much of a lighthouse, I'm thinking we should build one for ourselves. Not for the City's sake, but for our own. We need a network of safe houses, employers who'll take a chance, adult mentors for troubled and confused young people.

In future blogs and on our website, 2 Late 4 Time Out, I'd like to share every resource I can find regarding gang intervention and help for families. And if you've got some ideas, please don't keep 'em to yourself. No one should have a monopoly on light.

Parents of Troubled Youth Need A Lighthouse

When I was 21-years-old, finding an apartment—or another apartment—was simple. You just filled out a one page application, signed the thing and plopped down your first and last months rent. With the help of a few college buddies you moved in the next weekend. Same thing with getting a job—or another job; it was a piece of cake.

It’s been a long time since I tried to find a place to live, or looked for a job. Forty years just slipped by, without me taking nary a notice that a young person today who has any blemish on his/her driving record, employment history, residential background, or credit report, might as well pull up a cot on skid row. Without some serious intervention or help, he’s not going to find a regular job. And forget about decent place to live!

Take a look at this generic Rental Application, for example. I don’t blame landlords; I understand that screening is necessary to protect their interests. Why invite trouble. But on the other hand how about the young person who’s trying to turn his life around? How is he or she expected to change and make a new start if no one will give him a chance?

I can’t tell you how many people took chances on me: My mother, teachers, mentors, landlords, employers, even a few cops. How about you? Were you such a perfect youth? Today, parolees and undocumented workers get a better break when it comes to resources than do this group of troubled or misguided youth.

What parents like me need is a lighthouse—la casa de luz. As we float in despair on the open, foreboding seas of fear and uncertainty for our children, we need to be guided quietly, stealthfully to the shores of sanity.

I’m just one person, but it seems to me that the City Attorney’s Witness-Victim Assistance Program should be that beacon. After all, if you’re a witness or a victim, where else should you start looking for help?

It’s not like you went to fugitives’ boot camp or survivors’ academy. Nobody gives you the playbook on how to survive a gang home invasion. Or how to deal with death threats. If you are in my position you need HELP!!!

You need some basic questions answered, like: When to go for “outside” assistance, where to find advocates in your area, what to ask the police, and how to make a helpful witness/victim statement. And you certainly need to make a plan.

But while time for you stands still, the gang is on the move and you’ll need to employ some new guerilla strategies to stay on top of the situation. Someone’s got to teach you how to duck, tuck and roll when you hear gunfire…and how to recognize vehicle license plate numbers (and letters) at a glance. And for your daily routine, you’ll need to gain some new parking, driving and shopping survival skills that’ll help you avoid unwanted encounters with your new adversaries.

No one can teach us these things unless they’ve had such experiences. Or are versed in gang behavior. That's why we need a lighthouse! I just want to remind City Hall that we may be just little boats, but so many little boats make up a fleet worth saving.

I’m praying that the Witness-Victim Assistance Program will be my lighthouse. But since they’re not open this weekend—I’m guessing especially over Easter weekend, with everyone enjoying family activities—that I’ll have to call first thing Monday to find out exactly what they can/will do to help save my son’s life. Meanwhile, my weekend plan is to lay low, stay sane and keep my six-foot-tall man-child hidden away like a moldy old wedding dress, like himself the criminal, or like hidden treasure I want to selfishly covet.

Ah Shit! This Is A Parent's Second Worst Nightmare

There will be those who think that I’m crazy, but I’ll do anything on earth to save my son. I know that he’s made some foolish mistakes and some very bad decisions, but like I’ve been saying for the past few weeks—since this gang nightmare started—stupidity shouldn’t be a death sentence. So I’m throwing everything I’ve got at the wall, hoping something sticks.

During the past few days, in my latest incarnation as SuperMom, I’ve used every form of electronic communication available to man (or woman) to ask for help from the L.A.P.D., all the way up to the Deputy Chief’s office, every news outlet I could think of, e-mail, phone calls, reaching out in every way possible, to people I haven’t known for 20 years, working to help my son find safe harbor.

I’m such a ba-a-ad mama that I stood up to the gang! [Who am I fooling? I was just that desperate.] I’m not gon’na lie to you, I have been going crazy—trying to front off this “incident” to the grocery clerk, the gas station attendant, the bank teller, not to mention my neighbors, my boss, clients and business associates—all people I normally love to chat with—pretending that I wasn’t looking over my shoulder, scurrying to the car, tucking behind a bush, cutting meetings short; wearing baggy, black get-away clothes, all signs of a fugitive lifestyle.

Okay, so I’m learning to protect my personal safety from possible gang retaliation because if they can’t get at my son, maybe they will come after me. Hey, I've watched enough CSI episodes to know the rules of the streets. My son's gone, okay. So maybe they’re thinking of taking out his moms. [Now that would really prove a point, wouldn't it!]

This afternoon—after an exhaustive day of research, phone calls and passionate conversations with my new deep friend, Aztecs Rising Gang Interventionist, Mario Portillo, and Natalie, a member of LAPD’s top-brass staff, and a mother who cares, I fell into a peaceful slumber. Or so I thought:
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“Say wa’, homes? That’s the lady who used to bring snacks to H.P. baseball and shit. She was always smiling and shit. And she had good snacks too, man.”

“Naw, homes. No shit? Like, did she bring pizza and shit?”

“Yeah, homes. And Cokes too. In the can and shit. But she was crazy and shit. Always talking about our potential and shit. And she used to pick the cans out of the trash can and talk about recycling and shit and saving money and shit. She made me laugh and shit.”

“Oh yeah, man, I remember that black lady. She came to school and talked about college and careers and we could do anything we wanted to be and shit.”

"Is she the one who talked at graduation about the value of a penny and shit?"

"Yeah. And she was the lady who used to work in the school gardens and shit. I remember that she was old and shit but she had great legs."

"Yeah, dude. That's the one. She worked in all them damn gardens all over Highland Park and shit. S he used to talk about worm gardens and composting...I think that's what it was, and shit."

"I remember that she was down with the little homies to build a skate park and shit."

“No shit, homes? The l'il homies?”

“No shit. She used to talk to us like we was real people and shit. She told me I should be a graphic artist and shit. I used to draw real good, dude.”

“No shit, man? You used to draw and shit? That’s the old lady you want to hit, homes?”

“I don’t want to hit her homes, but her son disrespected us. He’s been greenlighted. And you know how it is.”

“But look, homes, how does that put his old lady in the grave and shit?”

“I dun’no, homes. I don’t get it either. I was just told to do it if we can’t get her son, we got to send a message.”

“A message to who, homes?”

“Uh-h-h-h, yeah, homes, that’s a good question.”

And that’s when I woke up. But, did I?
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Please ask how you can help the City Attorney’s Victim-Witness Assistance Program so that they can widely distribute their literature and make their services available to at-risk youth citywide, 24-7! And send us your comments so we can send them to the mayor. Please don’t let another parent’s nightmare come true. Together, can we change government policy? I believe that the answer is “Yes, We Can!”

Bad Behavior Shouldn't Be A Death Sentence

My 21-year-old son—my only child—has been “asking for it” for the last seven years, since he was 14. I thought he’d grow out of his risky behavior, with my help and the harsh lessons learned from “getting into trouble.” I should have taken out life insurance on him then, when I had a small measure of disposable income.

He didn’t get it. Was it the adventure of defying traffic laws that thrilled him? Were drugs more important than going to school or building a career? Was I less significant to him than even his most casual junkie friends? The answers: Apparently, YES.

But who says that stupidity should be a death sentence or deserve a lengthy prison term? Every day of every week of the year, some man- or woman-child’s mother, father or caregiver is terrified that their child’s behavior will lead to the worst possible consequence. And they, like me, feel helpless to protect their child.

“You made your bed now lay in it,” is not an option for most parents. Over family objections, in spite of what neighbors and friends say, that is your child! You know that once he sees the light—joins a 12 Step Program, meets a “good” girl, finally gets a job—does something, anything positive, you’ll be able to sleep nights. If only he (or she) sees the light before it’s too late.

Today my son prepares to relocate, as far as Greyhound can take him, under the L.A.P.D.’s Witness Assistance Program. You see, he finally got himself into a jam that no one could help him get out of. He crossed paths with the local gang and they began to harass him and extort money. They were emboldened when he relented, but then they wanted more, and more and more… Their threats were never going to stop!

Working with our local gang intervention specialists, Aztecs Rising, and the police, my son and I fingered two convicted felons: One a minor player in the gang hierarchy, and the other a junior shot-caller. Now my son is green lighted by one of the most notorious gangs in Los Angeles. If he doesn’t get out of Dodge, he’ll be killed.

“Aren’t you scared,” you ask? The truth is I’ve been scared for my son for seven years; this is the first time I can take a breath. With his higher power to guide him, I believe that his new life will give him a fresh start and finally a chance to think. He’s been living his life like it was a video game; now it’s time for him to step up or fall into oblivion.

Obama’s Success Will Give Hope to Today’s At-Risk Youth

This coming November I’ll celebrate the election of the 13th U.S. President since I was born in 1944.* I was only an infant when FDR began serving his fourth term, and I barely remember Truman, but besides those two, I have an vivid memory of the remaining ten, and the impact they had on generations before and after mine.

Historically speaking, until now—besides the hard-line politically ambitious or diehards from the left or the right—the only presidential hopeful that excited and united all generations, especially the youth, was John F. Kennedy.

America’s youth embraced the Kennedy family like folks hugged their Teddy Bears a hundred years ago, during the presidency of Teddy Roosevelt. At the dawning of the Industrial Revolution and mass migrations, it was little wonder that the Teddy Bear became everyone’s best friend.

Today history is repeating itself in the presence of Barack Obama, the young and charismatic Illinois junior Senator who, defying all odds and obstacles, would be President in 2009, just 143 years after slavery was abolished by President Abraham Lincoln.

An Obama presidency will be good news to many disenfranchised groups—the shrinking middle class, service workers and organized labor—but he’ll also make an instant positive impact on our nation’s worst case at-risk kids. You can read about his stand on issues here:

Skeptical and cynical children who’ve lived most of their young lives at war—watching it on TV, playing video war games and living it in their homes and neighborhoods—will most certainly be impressed with Barack Obama’s underdog story.

Barack isn’t the first African-American to run for president and he’s not the first presidential candidate who was raised by a single parent. He’s certainly not the first to come from a less-than-wealthy family, and not the first to admit that he smoked a little pot as a youth. What makes Barack Obama different from any other presidential candidate in my memory is that he doesn’t run from his background: he embraces it. Young folks like that type of honesty.

Barack isn’t an O.G., of course, but in his community work, he traveled the mean streets of Chicago and learned how to become conversant with even the hardest of the hard-line Gs.

His youthful appearance and pristine family life are factors in the attraction, but from our kids’ point of view, he’s almost one of ‘em. He can speak in slang and he understands it. He doesn’t shy away from questions, nor stutter in his answers. [When confronted by the po-lice, every G knows that you can’t stutter and you got’ta answer the questions.]

Just a year ago, Barack Obama was a dark horse in the race to become President. Today he’s the frontrunner. Don’t you think that every young person, no matter how low they feel about themselves, can draw inspiration from that turn of events? Many young people today who’ve given up on the system showing any empathy for them can surely draw inspiration from Barack Obama. For the first time in their lives, they feel that their votes count and their voices matter.

And for the entire Hip Hop Generation, many just reaching voting age, there’s one more attraction to an Obama presidency: His name! Just think of all the tracks they’ll lay down for Ba-rack, because his name rhymes with their generation’s biggest icon, Tu-pac.
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*http://www.paralumun.com/prestimeline.htm
Franklin Roosevelt [1933-1945], Harry Truman [1945-1953], Dwight Eisenhower [1953-1961], John Kennedy [1961-1963], Richard Nixon [1969-1974], Gerald Ford [1974-1977], Jimmy Carter [1977-1981] , Ronald Reagan [1981-1989], George Bush [1989-1993], Bill Clinton [1993-2001], George W. Bush [2001- ].

Domestic Violence 1-0-1: Lessons For Today’s Youth

She called him a loser. He called her a lazy ‘ho. And then it was on!!!

It took me over an hour to break up a fight between a young friend and his lady, and I ain’t young. As their voices rang out over the traffic—hers in shrill shrieks and sobs, his in booming baritone—I wondered what I could do to convince the unhappy couple that separation was better than incarceration.

“But he’s got my car,” she sobbed, “and he left me stranded without any money.”

“We’ve been going through this for six years,” he yelled. “I love her but I can’t take her constantly up under me.”

So they both had issues! I am neither a marriage counselor nor psychologist, but I could see no good end to this squabble if someone didn’t intervene. That’s when it occurred to me that besides money and drugs, domestic violence is a major cause of arrest, trial and incarceration for our nation’s young folks.

According to California’s SafeState:

• California law enforcement received 176,299 domestic violence calls in 2006; 80,946 calls involved weapons, including firearms, knives, hands, fists or feet.
• In a national study of college students, 27.5% of the women surveyed said that they had suffered rape or attempted rape at least once since age 14. Only 5% of those experiences were reported to the police. The term "hidden rape" has emerged because this survey and many other studies found that sexual assaults are seldom reported to the police.
• Nearly 5.3 million intimate partner victimizations occur among U.S. women ages 18 and older each year. This violence results in nearly 2 million injuries and nearly 1,300 deaths.
• In 2002 approximately 30% of women on welfare reported currently being in an abusive relationship.

Raised on gangsta’ rap and family dysfunction, many of our young people don’t have a clue about the consequences of domestic violence. “I didn’t hit her; I just pushed her,” is the common male defense. “She made me do it.”

No, homey, she didn’t make you do anything. You did it on your own and ignorance is no excuse for not knowing the law. And it’s the Law what we’re talkin’ about here.

Besides smacking someone you love, there are a number of crimes covered under Domestic Abuse laws that you should be aware of. Attempting, threatening or intimidating are also covered by these laws. But don’t take my word for it. Visit the L.A. Superior Court website.

Categories of crimes, which may be heard in a specialized Domestic Violence Court, include, but are not limited to:

• Section 273.5 of the California Penal Code: willful infliction of corporal injury on a spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant etc.
• Section 242 of the California Penal Code: Battery - any willful or unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another.
• Section 243 (e) of the California Penal Code: battery against a spouse, cohabitant, parent of the defendant's children etc.
• Section 240 of the California Penal Code: Assault - an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability to commit a violent injury etc.
• Section 136.1 of the California Penal Code: intimidation of victims and witnesses.

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I tried to explain these legal nuances to my young friends, but they wouldn’t have it, as they continued to brawl curbside and in the streets. With tears streaking down her smooth brown face, she seemed determined to cause a scene. “I know you hate me,” she cried. “Just give me my shit back.”

He paced, circling her slowly, like a mountain lion moving in on a wounded deer. “I ain’t giving you shit,” he spat! “Call one of the other men you’re sleeping with. You can use them, bitch, but you can’t use me.”

I stood between them, breathing erratically, thinking of something that would distract them…praying for a miracle that would allow them to hear me…The only difference I made on the scene was stopping them from jumping on one another.

The standoff lasted the better part of an hour and ended only when the young couple’s energies were totally spent. I later learned that the fight began at 6 a.m. It was now almost noon.

Carrying several bags of stuff, she sulked away, down the block and around the corner. He stood by the car, nostrils flaring, clenched fists, starring at his feet, as I calmly explained to him that he was one step from prison. “ Prison, son! P-R-I-S-O-N!!! I wanted to just shake him.

"No sunshine, no freedom. Washed. Forgotten. No street clothes. Asking permission. Calling collect. Don’t you know that, son?”

No, he never thought about it. Prison never crossed his mind. Not for some little lover’s quarrel; not for this little incident. To him it was just a little incident. But to the police, to the courts, it’s a bad case of domestic violence.

In the public interest and as a service to anyone you know who's in a toxic relationship that could benefit from this story; I’d like offer some practical little suggestions on how to avoid any domestic confrontation.

The Top 10 Ways NOT To Catch A Domestic Violence Case

10) If you see punched holes in the walls and/or broken furniture in the home of your new boyfriend or girlfriend, ask questions.

9) If you ask him/her if he/she’s insanely jealous and he/she says “yes,” believe it!

8) If you get into an argument and tempers are flaring, learn to walk away.

7) Be especially on guard if your partner has nothing to lose.

6) Don’t call her a bitch and expect her to respond positively.

5) If your woman hits/attacks you, throw up your arms, declare yourself “non-violent,” and leave the scene quietly.

4) Just because he/she hit you once, don’t think it won’t happen again.

3) If your man hits/attacks you, never think you can match him with your mouth.

2) Cut your losses! If confronted with possible domestic violence it’s better to protect your person and forget your property.

1) Recognize that if the police are called, someone will probably go to jail.

2 Late 4 Time Out In Winnetka

After settling down at my computer, morning tea in hand, the first thing I do is quickly scan my e-mail. Then I go to the L.A. Times Homicide Blog.

Like everyone, I was struck by the tragic February 7th homicide of an L.A.P.D. SWAT member as well as an entire family in Winnetka, California. I read "According to police, Edwin (age 20) has been identified as the suspected shooter in the killing of his father, Gerardo Rivera, 54, and two brothers, Endi Rivera, 25, and Edgar Rivera, 21."

"Winnetka," I thought aloud. I'm a Los Angeles native but, "Where in the heck is Winnetka?" So I Wikipediad "Winnetka" and learned that Winnetka is a 4.2-mile city in the San Fernando Valley, bordered by Canoga Park on the west, Woodland Hills on the south, Chatsworth to the north and Reseda to the east. Winnetka is pretty much a working class community where the median income is a little over $49,000 and the racial split is fairly even between Latinos and Caucasian, with a smattering of Asians, Blacks and Others.

The Winnetka website didn't reveal anything about the city, but I did learn that Winnetka used to be Weeks Poultry Farm before the San Fernando Valley sprawled after World War II.

Winnetka, a sleepy, middle class suburb, is now on the map by a horrific tragedy of unspeakable proportions. But we've got to speak about it; not in whispers, but we've got to scream!

Edwin Rivera, age 20, killed his father, his two brothers and a L.A.P.D. officer, before L.A.P.D. snipers took him out. I am convinced that it didn't need to happen!

Edwin, you see, could have been any body's child. Winnetka could have been any town across America. Edwin, you see, had problems in school, problems at home after his mom died eight years ago, and problems with dad's live-in girlfriend. I'm pretty sure that he had other problems, maybe with his other siblings, but by all accounts, even according to Law Enforcement, Edwin wasn't violent. Here's the background:

We'll never know the roots of Edwin's violent behavior, but we can all agree that Edwin was violent. Can we also agree that surely there were warning signs that Edwin had the potential for violence?

Far too many parents, family members, friends and colleagues don't want to interfere or get involved. Far too many of us--from whatever social class, race or educational background--ignore the signs until it's too late.

If you know a family that needs help, help them get the help they need. Get advice from renown educator, Millicent Hill, of Mama Hill's Help, Inc., expert gang intervention specialists, and help us build 2 Late 4 Time Out into the premiere resource for all things Juvenile Justice that will save families and save lives.